Boating Bloopers and Safety Shticks: A Humorous Take on COLREGs.

Note: this post is intended as a humorous take on COLREGs and should not be taken seriously. As a skipper, always ensure you correctly follow COLREG procedures to avoid a collision.

Ahoy, fellow seafarers! Nothing spoils a day on the water faster than a surprise collision. But fear not, for we’re about to tackle the serious business of collision regulations with a hearty dose of humour. Join us on this laughter-filled voyage as we explore the nautical rules that keep us safe, and maybe share a chuckle or two along the way.

1. Rule #14: The Head-On Hilarity

Rule #14 states that when two power-driven vessels are approaching head-on, both should alter their course to port (left). Now, imagine the conversation between these boats:

Boat A: “I’m going left!” Boat B: “No, I insist, I’m going left!” Boat A: “We’re both going left!” Both Boats: “Left, left, left!”

And just like that, a potential head-on collision turns into a synchronized left-turn dance party. Safety first, with a side of boogie!

2. Rule #15: The Crossing Comedy

Rule #15 deals with vessels crossing paths, where the boat that has the other on its starboard (right) side must give way. Picture this:

Boat X (on starboard side): “I’m the star of the show, so I get the right of way!” Boat Y (on port side): “Oh, no worries, I’ll just yield to the starboard sensation!” Boat X: “Thank you, darling! Starboard power, activate!”

And just like that, Boat X sails ahead feeling like a superstar, while Boat Y graciously yields, making way for the celebrity of the sea.

3. Rule #12: The Overtaking Opera

Rule #12 covers the art of overtaking another vessel. It’s like a high-stakes opera where the overtaking vessel plays the leading role:

Overtaking Vessel: sings dramatically “I’m overtaking you from astern, oh vessel of the sea!” Overtaken Vessel: responds with equal drama “Proceed, but don’t you dare collide with me!” Both Vessels: in perfect harmony “Overtaking in progress, let the opera of navigation begin!”

And so, the overtaking opera unfolds, with vessels gracefully passing each other, each aware of their role in this aquatic performance.

Laughing Our Way to Safer Waters

Navigating collision regulations can be serious business, but injecting a bit of humor into the mix can make the rules more memorable and entertaining. So, dear mariners, let’s set forth with knowledge, a dash of wit, and a hearty dose of laughter. By understanding and following these rules, we can ensure safe and enjoyable voyages, all while embracing the comedic charm of the high seas. Here’s to smooth sailing, uproarious laughter, and collision-free adventures! Bon voyage, and may your boating journeys be filled with both safety and smiles!

Bonus step: get your licence

“Alter to port!” “Your port or my port?”

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